La Solidaridad

Beware of emotional vampires. They are the scums of the earth. They are the predator and you their prey. Their agenda: to suck you out dry, to leave you powerless and toxic, to use you for their benefit, and  to depend on you for their energy-supply.

They are out there. You dont have to spot them in a mile. They are closed-ranged. They could be your family, bestfriend, partner or children. Or you.

Psychologist Dr. Albert Bernstein, author of books How To Deal with Emotionally Explosive People, Neanderthals at WorkSacred Bull, has coined a new term to call these blood-sucking creatures. He calls them Emotional Vampires in his new book Emotional Vampire, Dealing with People who Drain you Dry and According to Dr. Bernstein, there are five types of emotional vampires.

1) Daredevils: rebels without a cause. Attracted to sex, drugs and alcohol. They drain you dry by "overdoing everything exciting, and underdoing everything else." They live dangerously.

2) Bullies: are people who have illusions of grandeur and who have a false concept of power. They are addicted "to the raw thrill of seeing you squirm."

The Histrionic Vampires are people who have a built-in melodramatic system. They love to be the center of attention. They are the:

1) Hams: live to put on a show like celebrity wannabees and drama queens. Failure to ignore them would lead to a breakdown (another show!). They could be powerful seducers and engage in sexual accords.

2.) Passive-aggressives: are people who want to please in order to hide their inadequacy. They could charm you with their deadly looks and irritating conventionality. Picture perfect anorexics, religious hypocrites and unintentional "sexual harassers" fall into this category.

The Narcissistic Vampires: are people whose object of desire is nothing but themselves. Aside from having illussions of grandeur, their ego is the size of a planet. These are:

1) Legends: talented individuals who consider the rest of humanity secondary to them.

2) Superstars: are vampires who are not shy to admit that they are one. They would do anything to get what they want.

The Obsessive-Compulsive Vampires: are mega-perfectionists who likes to control people and situations. These vampires are usually control freaks, puritans and self-righteous.

The Paranoid Vampires:  are vampires who are truth-obsessed even if their vision of truth is sometimes twisted. They could be talented and perceptive and can draw you with their charm and wit but the other side of the coin is that they are always suspicious and distrustful of others. These are the jealous partners, conspiracy theorists and those who have out of this world ideas.

Dr. Bernstein offered advice on how to protect yourself from these vampires.

1. Research their past and plan your strategy

Their past is a rich source to gather information regarding their blood-sucking ways. Vampires

dont learn their lessons when promised because the temptation of sucking out someone dry proves to be more attractive than changing their behaviour. Consider what you want before confronting them.

2. Ask help from outside

Vampires like to isolate you first then prey on you. Verify what they say with other people especially when you feel doubtful of their intentions.  Vampires can't operate in the light of day.

3. Do what they fear

Do exactly what they are afraid of and you might stop their tracks.

4. Actions speak louder than words

Their actions say so much more about them than what they actually say. Do not trust their promises of changing because they are most likely not to fulfill them.  

5. Stop hypnosis

Vampires will do anything to get you to come close. They will hypnotize you, seduce you so that they could prey on you later on. Once they realized that you know their strategies, they would stop.

6. Pick your battles

Not all battles should be fought. Pick only those battles that you could put a stake right through

their heart. The others should be ignored.

7. Contingency Plan

Any attempt to save an emotional vampire would be futile unless you show them that their behaviour have consequences. This time write your rules.   

8. Think before speaking

What you say and how you say it is very crucial in your dealing with an emotional vampire. Make sure that you think twice as carefully as you pick your battles. Sometimes, silence is the best weapon.

9. Ignore baby tantrums

Vampires throw tantrums to get what they want. Dont give in.

10. Put a limit

Once sucked out dry, it is only you who could decide if the battle is worth fighting or if these emotional vampires are worth saving. The best way is to spot them right away and avoid getting involved in the first place